11 April 2010., 1:07 Am.,
I just don’t know what I want In life. Or instead one can say that I don’t know what I lack in my life. I was one of the most brightest of kids when I was young. But when I compare as to where I am today. It feels that I am lagging far behind in the race of life. Why am I not able to finish my exams ? is it because I don’t have the interest. Yes, the answer is yes. Y am I not having the interest. Don’t know. May be I never wanted to take such pain. What is the point in feeling now after 6 years. You should ve selected your path way before. Then tat you have selected BE it was your fault not finishing it. I hate doing the job which am doing right now. Picking calls and customer service is not my cup of tea, I want to invent ., I need to have fun at work. I need to be happy in what I am doing and ill be happy only if I do the job which I like. What is it? That’s a job in computers. Anything for that matter. Software engineering to desktop support. But y don’t this silly world and parents don’t understand that I am talented in that stuff and i am in the wrong place working for the shit they throw upon me. Now that it has become a routine for me to do the job that I hate and nowadays I can feel myself that I have become very weak. It seems as if I have forgotten what laughing is. Enough of all the fake smiles that I put up. i need to finish the exams at least for this society. But am not getting the interest in studying. I jus cant be pretending to everyone the whole of my life. I need to show ppl that I am capable of a lot of things. I need to make the ppl understand that computers are my everything and I love them more than anyone in this world. May one can say more than myself. Y am I wasting my valuable time working in a place where there is only shit all around. I need to come out if this.
What have you decided? I keep asking this question everytime to me. But everytime I ask I get the same answer. Y do I feel so depressed everytime. Is it only because of the exam matter? If this exam is the only thing that you are worried about, then y don’t you crack it? You are capable. But just that you are too lazy. I know that am lazy but I also need to succeed. What to do now. Ill say very clearly. Put a full stop to all the worries of you this summer. You finish your exams. If possible find a better job that you like and make sure you remain happy everytime.
